well i juss finished reading jeff's blog ... hmm ... i really care for the guy and i'm worrying about him ... i don't totally understand everything he wrote though
the thing that i found was the worst was that stuff about how his life sux. Well ... sure, maybe from his point of view it really does suck .. but if he even considered other people's feelings, like mine, and if he remembered how fucked up my life was during christmas, then maybe he wouldn't say that stuff ...
alota stuff's been getting to me, here's a summary:
summer: got togother with kristina. it's the best thing's that ever happened to me! - then before school starts, she dumps me, i'm sadder than hell, fortunately that wasn't the worst part ... oh no, it gets worse than that ...
september: i think i can still get together with kristina, so i keep obsessing over her. I totally disregard my friends, i've dropped them like sacks of rice. and on top of that, i miss the best opportuniry ever granted to me: a hot-hot-hot niner thought i was cute! if i wasn't obsessing about kristina, i would have pounced on her ... but being blinded by the false sense of love for kristina, i passed up the opportunity ... oh yes ... and let's not forget 9/11 ... fuck
october: things have gotten worse. I kristina proved to me that there was not chance of getting back to together. Now i was pulled between two things: philosophy and dating ... both which compromised the relationship with everyone i knew ...
november: halloween dance ... right before it started, some girl i never even knew said she use to have a crush on me ... now, learning from my past mistake, i pounced faster than a puma. i was too fast ... i later realized that i had no interest in that girl to begin with. i was a total dumbass/jackass/jerk ...
december: ah yes, the climax of the whole story, this is where everything falls apart:
first week of december was hectic. Strugling to find a date for the semi-formal ... i was thinking of asking shelly, but then i found out that somehow my family knew elena's family ... then i realized, hey elena's pretty hot ... unfortunately, she was going to the semi with marco ... so i let him take her. but the semi sucked ... no grinding, and i only got to slow dance twice ... with absolutely to feelings related ...
second week of december, it was more of a repucusion, quite uneventful, except that i spent most of my time practicing for the christmas liturgy and assembly. oh no wait ... that weekend i believe, something happened ... i made my mom cry, yes i know, i know, i'm a bastard, i made my mom cry. i admit i was a fucking jerk, say what you want i deserve it ...
thrid week of december, this is where it gets bad ... tuesday i find out my dad's workplace is laying off people. they offered my dad a job in indonesia, instead of getting laid off. on wednesday, my dad is really serious about moving to indonesia ... i cried like a little girl. thursday, the liturgy, i did pretty good, but later that day was the last chance to practice for the assembly ... it was soo hectic. my group wasn't even prepared, not properly planned out yet ... and everyone's performance was an embarressment! to top that off, i lost my $200 black, nike, down jacket ... or rather, it might have been stolen. well with all the stress on top of me you can imagine how pissed off i was ... actually i cried like a little baby girl on my way home. it was really sad, and pityful too ...
when i got home that night i was so pissed. i didn't want to come to diner, so i told my parents i didn't want to eat. my parent's took that as a sign of rebelion, so they kept shouting at me ... so i shouted back, it was really bad ... and when my dad found out i lost my jacket ... well ... my closer friends know what happened after that ...
friday morning ... my dad came to school with me, he was bitching to the principal ... it looked like he was going to cry. he was attacking the school saying that it was a school of thieves ... it was really bad ... but actually, the least likely person was there to console me ... Mr. Dalton ... i use to think that man was full of himself ... but now i have such a new found respect for him ... he really cared, and i owe him for that
well that's about it ...it took alot for me to recall those times, they were really painful ... if my friends read this, i hope they understand i came out with festering wounds and unhealed scars ... but nonetheless ... i came out alive ... and actually emotionally renewed ... i learnt something that christmas break, and that lesson will stick with me forever ... i've learnt to value all my family and friends ... because even though i was such a jackass/jerk all those times ... they were there for me ... helping me thorugh my time of need ... whether they knew it or not ... and i owe them everything
